A Roller Coaster

The first year is the hardest one to go through. Everything You see, hear, touch, smell or taste reminds You of someone related to the situation that happened. You are limited. You don’t  want anyone to know what happened. So You sit quietly…
No one really notices that You’re not talking about a certain person. So You go through a roller coaster of emotions all by yourself.
The second year is somewhere in the middle of nowhere. You still don’t talk about it, but people start asking questions. They start remembering how long has it been since You’ve said that name out loud. Is everything okay between you two? Did something happen? -they ask. So You don’t know if You should tell them the truth or lie to them. You decide to lie. You decide to let people think that You’re living the happiest life for the past year and a half, and that that person is still in your life even though it’s gone forever. You struggle with answers. People ask You what’s new in that person’s life, and You have no clue. So You try to remember a story that someone told You, but since You’re so good with that person You have to know the smallest detail about them. The sad thing is You used to know, but now You don’t. You have to make something up.
The third year is a little bit more easier, You don’t care anymore. It is what it is.
Shit happens.
You can talk about it now. First, You start answering on those questions with short answers. With a simple I don’t know. Than, You decide to tell your closest ones the whole story, the real one. What happened, How did You feel, Why didn’t You talk about it.. Everything. It’s easier now. After all, it’s been three years. Believe it or not, that’s not a small number of days. You retell that story in detail 1-2-3-4 times. And >>voila<< You don’t feel anything anymore. You’re done. You’ve survived.
The fourth year is …..
The fourth year is the worst one.
If You survive this one You can call yourself a queen. This year You can expect a lot of tears because everything will reopen again. You won’t feel pain because that person is slowly getting back in your life, but because You know you’re going to get hurt again and You don’t want to go through these four years ever again.
It took me four years to be okay.
What You have to know is that it doesn’t stop. You’ll go on a roller coaster of emotions over and over again in life. But that’s the price we all have to pay. We have to look at the good days in those four years and live life the way we want to. People come and go,.. That’s the way it is.
I can assure You, there are hundreds of good days, You just have to look closer.
Maybe there is a lot for You to see. Who knows?
With love,
                                                                                                                                   MO.

Primjedbe

Objavi komentar

Popularni postovi s ovog bloga

Now is good

When you come to a certain age and give yourself a review of the previous seven days, it seems like you have been subscribed on a YouTube channel on which you've come across on a video called ’Tips on how to get stuck in a routine’. Wake up without an alarm around 7 am. Train for about 90 minutes. Shower. Buy yourself food you enjoy eating because a quote on your screensaver says that all happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. Go to work. Try not to stress too much so you don't spoil the good mood you’ve been in throughout the day. Go home and make yourself lunch. Do some housework. Meet with friends, go grocery shopping or watch a movie. Go home. Spend at least an hour on Instagram. Do the night-time routine you’ve seen from Zoella’s newest post and finally fall asleep in a perfectly made bed. That my friend means that you got so stuck that on July 31st, 2028. when you do a revision of the previous 10 years the answer to ’What have you been doing?’ will be the same a
Pročitajte više

Reading minds

No one really notices what’s going on in your head unless you open up to someone or make them realize that something is wrong wanting them to start a conversation. You don’t want to harass people with your problems without the question- What’s wrong?  Looking back on my life untill now, I remember how my walk would look like and what has been going around in my head the whole time. It’s possible to walk the walk without anyone noticing that you are breaking down inside.  I feel like my brain has around billion little parts that still didn’t find a place to sit and stay. They are just wandering back and forth trying out different shapes so they can fit in a puzzle.  With that said, as a child you start questioning yourself what would it be like to read minds.  The mind of a child visualizes reading minds as a fun thing that could ease your life and save you the problems. How cool would it be if you could know every brilliant idea someone thinks of?  Of course I can’t le
Pročitajte više

Clouds ☁️

There is 7 billion of us. Small little creatures looking up at the same sky and trying to catch the same star. Even as a pilot or a passenger on a plane, you can’t touch the clouds. There is a thin piece of glass separating you from something you are trying to reach your whole life. Every cloud is an unreachable dream of yours. So when I, as a child from a small country, get the opportunity to fly through the clouds on my way to New York fucking city I expect from myself a little more grateful and happier reaction since it’s a dream come true.  Why now? After all times a wished for a once in a lifetime chance to go there. You know before, I would die for a walk through the places that are in so many movies or a cigarette lit on the stairs of Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment on 64 Perry Street.  New York.       Manhattan.  Sex.  and the City.  Did you know that a cigarette lit after sex makes ten times more damage to your body than a regular cigarette lit just becaus
Pročitajte više